Day 64

Blasphemy! Horror! The Golden Globes are canceled and the Oscars may be next. I want no part of a world that refuses to congratulate itself. I drag all the now-useless televisions to the center of my room and lash them together to form a crude raft. Soon, global warming will cause the seas to rise and I can float effortlessly out my eighth-floor window. It feels good to finally have a sensible plan...

-from Conan's Writers' Strike survival guide