A transcript of the film, including song lyrics.
Bert
All right, ladies and gents,
Comical poems suitable for the occasion, extemporized and thought up before your very eyes.
All right, here we go.
Room here for everyone gather around
The constable's "responstable." Now, how does that sound?
Hello, Miss Lark I got one for you.
Miss Lark likes to walk in the park with Andrew.
Hello, Andrew.
Ah, Mrs. Cory a story for you.
Your daughters were shorter than you, but they grew.
Dear Miss Persimmon--
Miss Persimmon
Yes?
Bert
Wind's in the east, mist comin' in.
Like something is brewin' about to begin
Can't put me finger on what lies in store
But I feel what's to happen, all happened before.
I'm sorry. Where was I? Thank you, one and all, for your kind support. Ah, Miss Lark, thank you.
Crikey. Bless you, guv. Generosity itself, that's what you are. No charge.
Oh, it's you! Hello. Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, you say? All right. Come along with me. This
here's Cherry Tree Lane. Nice little spot, you might say. Number 17's just down a bit. Now, this
imposing edifice what first greets the eye, is the home of Admiral Boom, late of His Majesty's
Navy. Likes his house shipshape, he does, shipshape and Bristol fashion at all times.
Admiral Boom
Time gun ready?
Mr Binnacle
Ready and charged, sir.
Admiral Boom
Three minutes and six seconds.
Mr Binnacle
Aye, aye, sir.
Bert
What he's famous for is punctuality. The whole world takes its time from Greenwich. But
Greenwich, they say, takes its time from Admiral Boom. What cheer, admiral?
Admiral Boom
Good afternoon to you, young man. Where are you bound?
Bert
Number 17. Got some parties here in tow what wants to see it.
Admiral Boom
Enter that in the log.
Mr Binnacle
Aye, aye, sir.
Admiral Boom
A word of advice, young man: storm signals are up at number 17. Bit of heavy weather brewing
there.
Bert
Thank you, sir. Keep an eye skinned. Here we are. Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane. Residence
of George Banks, Esquire. Hello, hello, hello. The admiral's right. Heavy weather brewin' at
number 17, and no mistake.
Mrs. Brill
Leave her alone!
Ellen
Shut up!
Mrs. Brill
I'll show you. Don't you be trying to stop the wretched creature! Let her go, that's what I say, and
good riddance! I never liked her from the moment she set foot in the door.
Ellen
But who gets stuck with the children with no Nanny in the house? Me, that's who!
Mrs. Brill
Her and her high and mighty ways! And that face of her that would stop a coal barge, it would.
Katie Nanna
Indeed, Mrs. Brill! I wouldn't stay in this house another minute, not if you heap me with all the
jewels in Christendom.
Ellen
No, no, Katie Nanna, don't go!
Katie Nanna
Stand away from that door, my girl!
Ellen
But what am I gonna tell the master about the children?
Katie Nanna
It's no concern of mine. Those little beasts have run away from me for the last time.
Ellen
They must be somewhere. Did you look around the zoo in the park? You know how Jane and
Michael is. Coo! You don't think the lion could've got at them, do ya? You know how fond they
was of hangin' around the cage.
Katie Nanna
I said my say, and that's all I'll say. I've done with this house forever.
Mrs. Brill
Well, hip, hip, hooray! And don't stumble on the way out, dearie.
Ellen
Now, now, Katie Nanna!
Mrs. Banks! She's home!
Mrs. Banks
Our daughter's daughters will adore us
And we'll sing in grateful chorus
"Well done, Sister Suffragette"
Good evening, Katie Nanna, Ellen. We had the most glorious meeting! Mrs. Whitbourne-Allen
chained herself to the wheel of the prime minister's carriage. You should've been there.
Katie Nanna
Mrs. Banks, I would like a word with you.
Mrs. Banks
And Mrs. Ainslie, she was carried off to prison, singing and scattering pamphlets all the way!
Katie Nanna
I'm glad you're home, madam. I've always given the best that's in me.
Mrs. Banks
On, thank you, Katie Nanna. I always knew you were one of us.
We're clearly soldiers in petticoats
And dauntless crusaders for women's votes
Though we adore men individually
We agree that as a group they're rather stupid
Katie Nanna
Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks
Cast off the shackles of yesterday
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray
Our daughter's daughters will adore us
And they'll sing in grateful chorus
"Well done, Sister Suffragette"
Katie Nanna
Being that as it may, I do not wish to offend, but I--
Mrs. Banks
From Kensington to Billingsgate
One hears the restless cries
From every corner of the land: womankind arise
Political equality and equal rights with men
Take heart for Mrs. Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again
No more the meek and mild subservients we
We're fighting for our rights, militantly - never you fear
Katie Nanna
If I may have a word, Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks
So cast off the shackles of yesterday
Katie Nanna
Mrs. Banks!
Mrs. Banks
And shoulder to shoulder into the fray
Our daughter's daughters will adore us
And they'll sing in grateful chorus - "well done"
Katie Nanna
Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks
"Well done"
Katie Nanna
Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks
"Well done, Sister Suf--"
Katie Nanna
Mrs. Banks!
Mrs. Banks
What is it, Katie Nanna?
Katie Nanna
Mrs. Banks, I have something to say to you.
Mrs. Banks
Where are the children?
Katie Nanna
The children, madam, to be precise, are not here. They've disappeared again.
Mrs. Banks
Katie Nanna, this is really too careless of you. Doesn't it make the third time this week?
Katie Nanna
The fourth, madam. And I for one have had my fill of it. I'm not one to speak ill of the children,
but--
Mrs. Banks
Oh, please, when do you expect them home?
Katie Nanna
I really couldn't say. And now if you'd be good enough to compute my wages, I'll--
Mrs. Banks
Oh, gracious, Katie Nanna! You're not leaving? What will Mr. Banks say? He's going to be cross
enough as it is to come home and find the children missing. Ellen, put these things away. You
know how the cause infuriates Mr. Banks.
Ellen
Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Banks
Katie Nanna, I beseech you. Please reconsider. Think of the children. Think of Mr. Banks. He
was just beginning to get used to you.
Admiral Boom
Posts, everyone! Four, three, two, one. Fire!
Mrs. Banks
Katie Nanna, I do beseech you--
Katie Nanna
My wages, if you please.
Mr. Banks
Bit early tonight, aren't you, admiral?
Admiral Boom
Nonsense. Bang on the dot, as usual. How are things in the world of finance?
Mr. Banks
Never better. Money's sound. Credit rates are moving up, up, up. And the British pound is the
admiration of the world.
Admiral Boom
Good man.
Mr. Banks
How do things look from where you stand?
Admiral Boom
Bit chancy, I'd say. The wind's coming up and the glass is falling. - don't like the look of it.
Mr. Banks
Good, good, good.
Admiral Boom
Banks, shouldn't wonder if you weren't steering into a nasty piece of weather. Banks! Do you
hear me?
Mr. Banks
Hello, Katie Nanna. That must be heavy. Allow me.
Katie Nanna
Hmph!
Mr. Banks
What a very pretty hat.
I feel a surge of deep satisfaction
Much as a king astride his noble steed - thank you.
When I return from daily strife, to hearth and wife
How pleasant is the life I lead
Mrs. Banks
Dear, it's about the children.
Mr. Banks
Yes, yes, yes.
I run my home precisely on schedule
At 6:01 I march through my door
My slippers, sherry and pipe are due at 6:02
Consistent is the life I lead
Mrs. Banks
George, they're missing.
Mr. Banks
Splendid. Splendid.
It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910
King Edward's on the throne it's the age of men
I'm the lord of my castle, the sovereign, the liege
I treat my subjects, servants, children, wife with a firm but gentle hand, noblesse oblige
It's 6:03 and the heirs to my dominion
Are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed
And so I'll pat them on the head and send them off to bed
Ah, lordly is the life I lead
Winifred, where are the children?
Mrs. Banks
They're not here, dear.
Mr. Banks
What? Well, of course they're here! Where else would they be?
Mrs. Banks
I don't know, George
Mr. Banks
You don't know?
Mrs. Banks
Well, they're missing. Katie Nanna has looked everywhere.
Mr. Banks
Very well. I'll deal with this at once.
Give me the police station, quickly, please.
Mrs. Banks
I don't think we need bother the police, dear. The facts of the matter--
Mr. Banks
Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts. One fact, and one fact alone is crystal clear!
Katie Nanna's faltered at her post. She's let the family down. And I shall bring her to boo-- oh.
She's left us, hasn't she?
Mrs. Banks
Yes, dear, only just.
Mr. Banks
What, uh-- yes. George Banks here. Yes. 17 Cherry Tree Lane. It's a matter of some urgency.
I should like you to send a policeman around immediately.
Mrs. Banks
The policeman's here, George!
Mr. Banks
What? Oh, how very prompt. What wonderful service. Thank you so much. Good night. Come
in, constable. Come in.
Constable
Thank you, sir. While going about my duties on the other side of the park, I noted some
valuables that had gone astray. I believe they're yours, sir.
Mr. Banks
Valuables?
Constable
Come along, now. Come along.
Mrs. Banks
Jane! Michael!
Mr. Banks
Winifred, please don't be emotional.
Constable
Oh, I wouldn't be too hard on 'em, sir. They've had a long, weary walk today.
Mr. Banks
Children, come here at once. Well?
Jane
I'm sorry we lost Katie Nanna, Father. You see, it was windy. And the kite was too strong for us.
Constable
In a manner of speaking, sir, it was the kite that ran away, not the children.
Mr. Banks
Thank you, Constable. I think I can manage this.
Jane
Actually it wasn't a very good kite. We made it ourselves. Perhaps if you helped us to make
one--
Constable
Ah, that's the ticket, sir. Kites are skittish things. Why, only last week with me own youngsters--
Mr. Banks
I'm very grateful to you, Constable, for returning the children. And I'm sure that if you go to the
kitchen, Cook'll find you a plate of something.
Constable
Thank you, sir. I shall now return to my duties.
Jane
Thank you, Constable.
Constable
Good night, miss. Good night, ma'am. Good night, sir. Cook'll find me something. I never--
Mrs. Banks
I'm awfully sorry about this, George. I'll expect you'll want to discuss it.
Mr. Banks
I would indeed! Ellen, take Jane and Michael upstairs straightaway.
Ellen
Yes, sir. I knew it. When all's said and done, who bears the brunt of everything around here?
Me, that's who! They don't want an honest, hard-workin' girl around here. They need a ruddy
zookeeper.
Mrs. Banks
I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nanna, I thought she would be firm with the children. She
looked so solemn and cross.
Mr. Banks
Winifred, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.
Mrs. Banks
I'll try to do better next time.
Mr. Banks
Next time? My dear, you've engaged six Nannies in the last four months! And they've all been
unqualified disasters.
Mrs. Banks
I quite agree.
Mr. Banks
Choosing a Nanny for the children is an important and delicate task. It requires insight, balanced
judgment, and an ability to read character. Under the circumstances, I think it might be apropos
to take it upon myself to, uh, select the next person.
Mrs. Banks
Oh, would you, George?
Mr. Banks
Obviously the way to find a proper Nanny, is to go about it in a proper fashion. I shall put an
advertisement in The Times. Take this down please.
Mrs. Banks
Yes, of course, dear.
Mr. Banks
Wanted. Uh, no. Uh, required. Nanny: firm, respectable, no nonsense.
A British Nanny must be a general
The future empire lies within her hands
And so the person that we need
To mold the breed
Is a Nanny who can give commands
You getting this, Winifred?
Mrs. Banks
Oh, yes, dear. Every word.
Mr. Banks
A British bank is run with precision
A British home requires nothing less
Tradition, discipline and rules must be the tools
Without them, disorder, catastrophe, anarchy
In short you have a ghastly mess
Mrs. Banks
Splendid, George! Inspirational. The Times will be so pleased.
Jane
Father?
Mr. Banks
Yes?
Jane
We've discussed everything, and we're very sorry about what we did today.
Mr. Banks
I should certainly think so.
Jane
It was wrong to run away from Katie Nanna.
Mr. Banks
It was indeed.
Jane
And we do so want to get on with the new Nanny.
Mr. Banks
Very sensible. I shall be glad to have your help in the matter.
Jane
We thought you would. That's why we wrote this advertisement.
Mr. Banks
Advertisement for what?
Jane
For the new Nanny.
Mr. Banks
You wrote an advert--
Mrs. Banks
George, I think we should listen.
Jane
You said you wanted our help.
Mr. Banks
But, I-- oh, very well.
Jane
"Wanted: a Nanny for two adorable children."
Mr. Banks
"Adorable." well, that's debatable, I must say.
Jane
If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Mr. Banks
Jane, I don't--
Jane
Rosy cheeks, no warts
Michael
That's the part I put in.
Jane
Play games, all sorts
You must be kind you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Mr. Banks
Well, of all the ridic-
Mrs. Banks
George, please!
Jane
Take us on outings give us treats
Sing songs bring sweets
Never be cross or cruel never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water
Michael
I put that in, too.
Jane
If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never you give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see
Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Nanny
Many thanks
Sincerely
Jane and Michael
Jane and Michael Banks
Mr. Banks
Thank you. Most interesting. And now I think we've had quite enough of this nonsense. Please
return to the nursery.
Mrs. Banks
They were only trying to help. They're just children.
Mr. Banks
I'm well aware they're just children, Winifred. I only congratulate myself that I decided to step in
and take a hand. "Play games, sing songs, give treats." Ridiculous. There's no question in my
mind whatsoever. Now is the time for action. Give me The Times, please. No, I do not know the number.
Mrs. Banks
Oh, George, you're always so forceful.
Mrs. Banks
The Times? George Banks here. 17 Cherry Tree Lane. I wish to place an advertisement in your
column.
Admiral Boom
Time gun ready?
Mr. Binnacle
Ready and charged, sir.
Admiral Boom
I'll take the report, Mr. Binnacle.
Mr. Binnacle
The wind has changed, Sir. Seems to be comin' in from a new quarter.
Admiral Boom
So it is.
Mr. Binnacle
Sir?
Admiral Boom
What is it?
Mr. Binnacle
Bit of somethin' or other taking place off the port bow.
Admiral Boom
Ghastly looking crew, I must say!
Ellen
Coo! There's a fair queue of Nannies outside, sir. Shall I show 'em in?
Mr. Banks
Ellen, I said 8:00, and 8:00 it shall jolly well be. You see? Twelve seconds to go. Ten, nine,
eight--
Mrs. Banks
Posts! Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!
Mr. Banks
Ellen, it is now 8:00.
Ellen
Yes, sir.
Mr. Banks
But I have told you time and time again, Ellen, I dislike being hurried into things.
Jane
I don't understand. They're not what we advertised for at all.
Michael, look!
Michael
Perhaps it's a witch.
Jane
Of course not. Witches have brooms.
It's her. It's the person. She's answered our advertisement.
Michael
Rosy cheeks and everything.
Mr. Banks
Ellen, you may now show them in, one at a time.
Ellen
Yes, sir. You may come in one at a time.
Mary Poppins
Thank you.
Ellen
Oh.
Mary Poppins
You are the father of Jane and Michael Banks, are you not? I said, you are the father of Jane
and Michael Banks.
Mr. Banks
Well, well ye-- yes, of course, I mean. Uh-- you brought your references, I presume. May I see
them?
Mary Poppins
Oh, I make it a point never to give references. A very old-fashioned idea to my mind.
Mr. Banks
Is that so? We'll have to see about that then, won't we?
Mary Poppins
Now then, the qualifications. "Item one: a cheery disposition." I am never cross. "Item two: rosy
cheeks." Obviously. "Item three: play games, all sorts." Well, I'm sure the children will find my
games extremely diverting.
Mr. Banks
May I? Eh, this paper? Where did you get it from? I thought I tore it up.
Mary Poppins
Excuse me. "Item four: you must be kind." I am kind, but extremely firm. Have you lost
something?
Mr. Banks
Ah! Yeah. That paper, you see. I thought that I--
Mary Poppins
You are George Banks, are you not?
Mr. Banks
What?
Mary Poppins
And you did advertise for a Nanny, did you not?
Mr. Banks
George Banks.
Mary Poppins
Very well then.
Mr. Banks
I tore it up, turned it over. Tore it up again and threw it in there. Yes.
Mary Poppins
I beg your pardon. Are you ill?
Mr. Banks
I hope not.
Mary Poppins
Now, about my wages. The reference here is very obscure.
Mr. Banks
Very obscure.
Mary Poppins
We must be very clear on that point, mustn't we?
Mr. Banks
Yes, we must indeed.
Mary Poppins
I shall require every second Tuesday off.
Mr. Banks
Every Tuesday.
Mary Poppins
On second thoughts, I believe a trial period would be wise. Hmm. I'll give you one week. I'll know
by then. I'll see the children now. Thank you.
Close your mouth please, Michael. We are not a codfish. Well, don't stand there staring. Best
foot forward. Spit spot!
Mrs. Banks
George? Aah! George, what on earth are you doing? I thought you were interviewing Nannies.
Mr. Banks
I was! I was!
Mrs. Banks
You mean you've selected one already?
Mr. Banks
Yes, it's done. It's, it's all done.
Mrs. Banks
Well, where is she?
Mr. Banks
What? Well, eh, she's in the nursery of course, I mean. I put her to work straightaway, I mean.
Mrs. Banks
How clever of you! I would have muddled the whole thing. Tell me, is she everything that we'd
hoped she be?
Mr. Banks
Well, I - it all happened rather quickly. I mean, I-- I, uh--
Mrs. Banks
Will she be firm? Will she give commands? Will she mold our young breed?
Mr. Banks
You know, Winifred, I think she will. I think she will.
Mrs. Banks
In that case, perhaps you'd better tell Ellen to dismiss the others.
Mr. Banks
The others? Oh, yes. Ellen?
Ellen
Y-yes, sir?
Mr. Banks
Tell the other applicants they may go. The position has been filled.
Ellen
The others, sir?
Mr. Banks
Yes, the others. How many n-Nannies does she think we need in this house?
Ellen
The position has been filled.
Jane
I'm afraid the nursery isn't very tidy.
Mary Poppins
It is rather like a bear pit, isn't it?
Michael
That's a funny sort of bag.
Mary Poppins
Carpet.
Michael
You mean to carry carpets in?
Mary Poppins
No. Made of.
Jane
This is your room, and there's a lovely view of the park.
Mary Poppins
Hmm. Well, it's not exactly Buckingham Palace. Still, it's clean. Yes, I think it will be quite
suitable. Just needs a touch here and there. Well, first things first. I always say, the place to
hang a hat is on a hat stand. Ah! This will never do! I much prefer seeing all of my face at the
same time.
Michael
There-- but there was nothing in it.
Mary Poppins
Never judge things by their appearance. Even carpetbags. I'm sure I never do. A thing of beauty
is a joy forever. Mmm, a little more light, perhaps.
Michael
We better keep an eye on this one. She's tricky.
Jane
She's wonderful.
Mary Poppins
Much better! Now, let me see. That's funny. I always carry it with me. It must be here
somewhere.
Michael
What?
Mary Poppins
My tape measure.
Michael
What do you want it for?
Mary Poppins
I want to see how you two measure up. Well, that's the funniest thing I ever saw. I know it's
down here somewhere. Ah, ha-ha, ha-ha! Here it is. Good. Come along, then. Quickly. Head up,
Michael. Don't slouch. Just as I thought. Extremely stubborn and suspicious.
Michael
I am not!
Mary Poppins
See for yourself.
Michael
"Extremely stubborn and sus--"
Mary Poppins
Suspicious.
Now you, Jane. Mmm. "Rather inclined to giggle. Doesn't put things away."
Michael
How 'bout you?
Mary Poppins
Very well. Hold this for me. As I expected. "Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way."
Jane
Mary Poppins! Is that your name? It's lovely.
Mary Poppins
Thank you. I've always liked it. Now, shall we get on with it?
Jane
Get on with what?
Mary Poppins
In your advertisement, did you not specifically request to play games?
Jane
Oh, yes!
Mary Poppins
Very well, then. Our first game is called "well begun is half done."
Michael
I don't like the sound of that.
Mary Poppins
Otherwise entitled, "let's tidy up the nursery."
Michael
I told you she was tricky.
Mary Poppins
Shall we begin?
Jane
It is a game, isn't it, Mary Poppins?
Mary Poppins
Well, it depends on your point of view. You see,
In every job that must be done,
There is an element of fun.
You find the fun, and snap!
The job's a game.
And every task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark, a spree it's very clear to see
That a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
A robin feathering his nest
Has very little time to rest
While gathering his bits of twine and twig
Though quite intent in his pursuit,
He has a merry tune to toot
He knows a song will move the job along
For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
The honeybees that fetch the nectar from the flowers to the comb
Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro
Because they take a little nip from every flower that they sip
And hence
Reflection
And hence
Mary Poppins
They find
Reflection
They find
Mary Poppins and Reflection
Their task is not a grind
Mary Poppins
Cheeky.
Don't be all day about it, please.
Michael
Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
Mary Poppins
Well, that was very--
Thank you now-- when you've quite finished!
Thank you. That will be quite sufficient. Hats and coats, please. It's time for our outing in the
park.
Michael
I don't want an outing. I want to tidy up the nursery again.
Mary Poppins
Enough is as good as a feast. Come along, please. Let me look at you. Well, you're not as well
turned out as I'd like. Still, there's time. There's time. Spit spot! And off we go.
Jane and Michael
For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine
Go down in the most delightful way
Bert
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
I does what I likes and I likes what I do
Hello, art lovers.
Today I'm a screever and as you can see
A screever's an artist of highest degree
And it's all me own work
From me own memory
Well, not Royal Academy, I suppose. Still they're better than a finger in your eye, ain't they?
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
I draws what I likes and I likes what I drew
No remuneration do I ask of you
But me cap would be glad of a copper or two
Me cap would be glad of a copper or two
Wait! Don't move. Don't move a muscle. Stay right where you are. I'd know that silhouette
anywhere! Mary Poppins!
Mary Poppins
It's nice to see you again, Bert. I expect you know Jane and Michael.
Bert
Well, I've seen 'em here and about. Chasin' a kite last time, weren't it?
Jane
Mary Poppins is taking us to the park.
Bert
To the park? Not if I know Mary Poppins. Other Nannies take children to the park. When you're
with Mary Poppins, suddenly you're in places you've never dreamed of. And quick as you can
say "Bob's your uncle," the most unusual things begin to happen.
Mary Poppins
I'm sure I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Bert
Well mind, it's not my place to say, but what she's probably got in mind, is a jolly holiday
somewheres or other. Something along these lines, I shouldn't be surprised. "Punting on the
Thames." That's always good if you like an outing. Here we go.
The circus. How about a lovely circus? Lions and tigers. World-famous artistes performing
death-defyin' feats, of dexterity and skill before your very eyes. Ta-da! Ta-da!
Jane
Oh, that's lovely. If you please, I'd much rather go there.
Bert
Beautiful, ain't it? A typical English countryside, as done by a true and lovin' hand. Though you
can't see it, there's a little country fair down that road and uh, over the hill.
Michael
I don't see any road.
Bert
What? No road? Just wants a bit of somethin' here, and a bit of somethin' there. There. A
country road suitable for travel and high adventure.
Jane
Please may we go, Mary Poppins? Please? Such a lovely place. Don't you think it's lovely, Mary
Poppins?
Bert
Now's the time, Mary Poppins. No one's lookin'.
Jane and Michael
Please, Mary Poppins. Please! Please, Mary Poppins. Please!
Mary Poppins
I have no intention of making a spectacle of myself, thank you.
Bert
All right, I'll do it myself.
Mary Poppins
Do what?
Bert
Bit of magic.
Michael
A bit of magic?
Bert
It's easy. Let's see. You think. You wink. You do a double blink. You close your eyes and jump.
Jane
Is something 'sposed to happen?
Mary Poppins
Bert, what utter nonsense! Ohh! Why do you always complicate things that are really quite
simple? Give my your hand, please, Michael. Don't slouch. One, two.
Bert
Mary Poppins, you look beautiful.
Mary Poppins
Do you really think so?
Bert
Cross my heart you do. Like the day I met ya.
Mary Poppins
You look fine, too, Bert.
Michael
I thought you said there was a fair.
Bert
So I did. Down the road behind the hill, remember?
Jane
Come on! I hear the merry-go-round.
Bert
Tell 'em Bert sent ya.
Mary Poppins
Don't fall and smudge the drawing.
Bert
Ain't it a glorious day
Right as a mornin' in May
I feel like I could fly
Mary Poppins
Now, Bert. None of your larking about.
Bert
Have you ever seen
The grass so green
Or a bluer sky
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Mary
Mary makes your heart so light
Mary Poppins
You haven't changed a bit, have you?
Bert
When the day is gray and ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright
Mary Poppins
Oh, honestly!
Bert
Oh, happiness is bloomin' all around her
The daffodils are smilin' at the dove
When Mary holds your hand you feel so grand
Your heart starts beatin' like a big brass band
Mary Poppins
You are lightheaded.
Bert
It's a jolly holiday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
Animals
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Mary
Mary makes your heart so light
When the day is gray and ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright
Oh, happiness is bloomin' all around her
The daffodils are smiling at the dove oink, oink.
When Mary holds your hand
You feel so grand
Your heart starts beatin' like a big brass band
It's a jolly holiday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
Mary Poppins
Thank you.
Turtles
Our pleasure, Mary Poppins.
Mary Poppins
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with you, Bert
Gentlemen like you are few
Bert
A vanishing breed, that's me.
Mary Poppins
Though you're just a diamond in the rough, Bert
Underneath your blood is blue
Bert
Common knowledge.
Mary Poppins
You'd never think of pressing your advantage
Forbearance is the hallmark of your creed
Bert
True.
Mary Poppins
A lady needn't fear
When you are near
Your sweet gentility is crystal clear
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with you, Bert
A jolly, jolly holiday with you
Bert
Waiter! Waiter!
Mary Poppins
Now then, what'd be nice?
We'll start with raspberry ice
and then some cakes and tea
Waiters
Order what you will
There'll be no bill
It's complimentary
Mary Poppins
You're very kind.
Waiters
Anything for you, Mary Poppins. You're our favorite person.
Bert
Right you are.
It's true that Mavis and Sybil have ways that are winnin'
And Prudence and Gwendolyn set your hearts spinnin'
Phoebe's delightful
Maude is disarming
Waiters
Janice, Felicia, Lydia
Bert
.. charming
Cynthia's dashing
Vivian's sweet
Stephanie's smashing
Priscilla a treat
Waiters
Veronica, Millicent, Agnes, and Jane
Bert
convivial company time and again
Dorcas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts
I'll agree they're three jolly good sports
But cream of the crop
Tip of the top
Bert and Waiters
Is Mary Poppins
And there we stop
When Mary holds your hand
You feel so grand
Your heart starts beatin' like a big brass band
It's a jolly holiday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
Michael
Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! -ya-hoo!
Jane
Our own private merry-go-round.
Bert
Very nice. Very nice, indeed, if you don't wanna go nowhere.
Mary Poppins
Who says we're not going anywhere? Oh, guard!
Guard
Righto, Mary Poppins.
Mary Poppins
Thank you.
Guard
They're off! It's Mary Poppins leadin' by two lengths. Jane is second by a length. Michael third.
Michael
My horse is the fastest.
Bert
Do you hear that, mate? Do you wanna put up with that? That's the ticket! Come on, my lad. Is
that the best you can do?
Michael
Hurry up, boy. Hurry up!
Mary Poppins
Not so fast, please. Michael! Now really, Bert. You're as bad as the children.
Bert
Sorry. Whoa, boy! Whoa! Whoa. Easy, boy. Whoa. Whoa. Just a bit of high spirits, Mary
Poppins.
Mary Poppins
Please control yourself. We are not on a racecourse.
Follow me, please.
Good morning.
Hunter
Oh, yes, quite. Wha-- I say! Have you ever?
Horse
Never!
Hunter
View halloo!
Horse
Oh, yes, definitely. A view halloo.
Fox
View halloo?
Faith and begorra! 'Tis them redcoats again!
Dogs
View halloo! View halloo! View halloo!
Fox
Oh, musha, musha.
Bert
Poor lit'l bloke. Let's give him a hand.
Fox
Saints preserve us! Yikes!
Tally ho!
Bert
Da-doo, da-doo! Up you go. Now hang on.
Fox
Would you look at that now? 'Tis an elegant merry-go-round horse. Come on and fight, you dirty
omadhauns. I can lick the lot of ya's. Faster, me beauty! Faster!
Mary Poppins
Oh, riders, would you be so kind as to let me pass?
Horse Rider
Certainly, ma'am.
Mary Poppins
Thank you.
Horse Rider
Not at all, ma'am.
Spectator 1
Excellent time, gentlemen.
Spectator 2
Oh, yes, quite. - perfect day for it, of course.
Mary Poppins
Oh. Oh, how nice.
Crowd
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
Photographer
Hold still, now. Watch for the dickie bird.
Reporter 1
Uh, how does it feel, Mary Poppins, winning the race?
Mary Poppins
Oh, well I--
Reporter 2
- gaining fame and fortune.
Mary Poppins
Uh, yes.
Reporter 3
Having your picture taken for the newspaper.
Mary Poppins
Uh, oh, actually, I'm delighted.
Reporter 4
Besides having your extreme good looks, if I may say so.
Mary Poppins
Oh, well, I wouldn't go--
Reporter 3
There probably aren't words to describe your emotions.
Mary Poppins
Now, now, now, now, gentlemen, please. On the contrary, there's a very good word. Am I right,
Bert?
Bert
Tell 'em what it is.
Mary Poppins
Right! It's ...
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Group
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Bert
Because I was afraid to speak when I was just a lad
Me father gave me nose a tweak and told me I was bad
But then one day I learned a word that saved me achin' nose
Bert and Mary Poppins
The biggest word you ever heard and this is how it goes
Oh, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Group
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Mary Poppins
He's traveled all around the world and everywhere he went
He'd use his word and all would say, "there goes a clever gent"
Bert
When dukes and maharajahs pass the time of day with me
I'd say me special word and then they'd ask me out to tea
Bert and Mary Poppins
Ooh, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Mary Poppins
You know, you can say it backwards,
Which is, Dociousaliexpiisticfragicalirupus.
But that's going a bit too far, don't you think?
Bert
Indubitably.
Mary Poppins
So when the cat has got your tongue there's no need for dismay
Bert
Hear, hear!
Mary Poppins
Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say
But better use it carefully or it could change your life
Drummer
For example.
Mary Poppins
Yes?
Drummer
One night I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife.
Ow! And a lovely thing she is, too.
Group
She's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Mary Poppins
Jane! Michael! Stay close now. Oh, Bert, all your fine drawings.
Bert
Well, there's more where they came from. Meantime, I'm changing businesses. This here is
lovely hot chestnut weather.
Mary Poppins
Come along, children. Bye, Bert.
Bert
Bye-bye.
Jane
Bye, Bert.
Bert
Bye. Bye, Jane and Michael.
Michael
Bye, Bert.
Bert
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
La dum da da dum da da da da dum
Michael
No, no, I won't take your nasty medicine!
Jane
Do we have to, Mary Poppins?
Mary Poppins
People who get their feet wet, must learn to take their medicine.
Michael
I don't want it. I'm not gonna--
Jane
Oh! Lime cordial! Delicious!
Michael
Strawberry! Mmm!
Mary Poppins
R-r-rum punch. Quite satisfactory.
Jane
Mary Poppins, you won't ever leave us, will you?
Mary Poppins
Do you have a handkerchief under your pillow? Mm-hmm.
Michael
Will you stay if we promise to be good?
Mary Poppins
Och! That's a piecrust promise. Easily made, easily broken.
Jane
Whatever would we do without you?
Mary Poppins
I shall stay until the wind changes.
Michael
But, Mary Poppins, how long will that be?
Mary Poppins
Silence, please. It's time to go to sleep.
Jane
Oh, we couldn't possibly go to sleep! So many lovely things have happened today.
Mary Poppins
Did they?
Jane
Yes! When we jumped into Bert's chalk picture.
Michael
And we rode the merry-go-round, and all the horses jumped off, and--
Jane
And we all went riding in the countryside!
Jane and Michael
Tally ho! Tchunga! Tchunga! Yikes!
Mary Poppins
Really?
Jane
Mary Poppins, don't you remember? You won the horse race!
Mary Poppins
A respectable person like me in a horse race? How dare you suggest such a thing.
Michael
But I saw you do it!
Mary Poppins
Now, not another word or I shall have to summon the policeman. Is that clear?
Michael
It did happen! I saw it!
Mary Poppins
Go to sleep.
Michael
No, I don't want to go to sleep.
Jane
Mary Poppins, we're much too excited!
Mary Poppins
Very well, suit yourselves.
Stay awake don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake don't close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake don't nod and dream
Stay awake don't nod and dream
Admiral Boom
Glorious day, Mr. Binnacle. Glorious! No one sleeps this morning. Put in a double charge of
powder.
Mr. Binnacle
A double charge? Aye, aye, sir.
Admiral Boom
Shake things up a bit, what?
Mrs. Banks
Lovely, lovely morning, Ellen.
Ellen
Indeed it is, ma'am.
Mrs. Banks
Have you put the spoiled eggs in my carryall?
Ellen
Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Banks
After our meeting at the Albert Hall, we're all going to Downing street, to throw things at the
prime minister. Oh, how distinguished you look this morning, George.
Mr. Banks
What's all that fearful caterwauling in the kitchen?
Mrs. Banks
It's cook singing.
Mr. Banks
Cook singing? What's wrong with her?
Mrs. Banks
She's happy as a cricket. As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most
extraordinary thing seems to have come over the household.
Mr. Banks
Is that so?
Mrs. Banks
Take Ellen for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning.
Mr. Banks
Really? Well, that is extraordinary.
Mrs. Banks
And another thing. She and Cook usually fight like cats and dogs, but today--
Mrs. Brill
Let me hold the door for you, Ellen dear.
Ellen
Thanks ever so, ducks.
Mr. Banks
Ellen, stop making that offensive noise! And shut the window! That bird's giving me a headache.
Ellen
Yes, sir. Quiet! You're giving the master a headache.
Mrs. Banks
I'm so sorry you're not feeling well this morning, George.
Mr. Banks
Who said I'm not feeling well? I'm fit as a fiddle. I just don't understand why everyone's so
confoundedly cheerful!
Jane and Michael
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Mrs. Banks
How lovely. Thank you, my darling.
Jane and Michael
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Jane, Michael, Ellen and Mrs. Brill
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Mr. Banks
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Jane
Good morning, Father.
Mr. Banks
Good morning.
Jane
Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful words.
Michael
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Mr. Banks
What on earth are you talking about? Supercali-- super-- or whatever the infernal thing is.
Jane
It's something to say when you don't know what to say.
Mr. Banks
Yes, well, I always know what to say. Go on, hurry along, please.
Jane
Yes, father.
Jane and Michael
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Mr. Banks
Winifred, will you be good enough to explain this unseemly hullabaloo?
Mrs. Banks
I don't think there's anything to explain, do you? It's obvious that you're out of sorts this morning.
The children just came in to make you feel better.
Mr. Banks
I should like to make one thing quite clear, once and for all. I am not out of sorts. I am in a
perfectly equable mood. I don't require being made to feel better!
Mrs. Banks
But you're always saying that you wanted a cheerful and pleasant household.
Mr. Banks
Winifred, I should like to make a slight differentiation between the word cheerful and just plain
giddy irresponsibility.
Mrs. Banks
Excuse me, dear. Posts, everyone, please!
Mr. Banks
I have no objection to anyone being cheerful or pleasant. But I do expect a certain decorum. I
can tell you one thing, Winifred. I don't propose standing idly by and letting that woman, Mary
Poppins, undermine the discipline and-- there's something odd, I may say extremely odd about
the behavior of this household since that woman arrived. And I want you to know that I've
noticed it!
Mrs. Banks
Yes, dear.
Mr. Banks
One thing more.
Mrs. Banks
Yes, dear?
Mr. Banks
I suggest you have this piano repaired. When I sit down to an instrument, I like to have it in tune.
Mrs. Banks
But, George, you don't play.
Mr. Banks
Madam, that is entirely beside the point!
Mary Poppins
Now, let me see. First of all, we must go to the piano tuners. And then we go to Mrs. Cory's sh--
Mrs. Cory's shop for some gingerbread.
Jane
Ah, gingerbread!
Mary Poppins
And then we go to the fishmonger's, I think, for a nice dover sole and a pint of prawns. Uh,
Michael, stop stravaging along behind.
Admiral Boom
Ahoy, there! Ahoy! Good day to you!
Mary Poppins
Good morning, Admiral.
Admiral Boom
Michael, what fine adventure are we off upon today? Going to fight the Hottentots? Dig for buried
treasure?
Michael
We're going to buy some fish.
Admiral Boom
Very good! Proceed at flank speed.
Michael
Aye, aye, sir.
Admiral Boom
Let's put our backs into it, lad. More spit and polish. That's what's wanted around here.
Jane
It's Andrew!
Mary Poppins
Uh, not so fast, please. I can't understand a word you're saying. Again? Och! Oh, the poor man!
Bless you. Well, yes, of course. There's not a moment to lose. I'll go straightaway. And thank
you very much.
Jane
What did he say?
Mary Poppins
He said, "you're welcome."
Jane
What else did he say?
Michael
I don't think he said anything.
Mary Poppins
You know best, as usual.
Jane
I thought we were gonna buy some fish.
Mary Poppins
There's been a change of plans. Come along, please. Don't straggle.
Andrew, worrying won't help anyone. Why don't you go home and put your feet up? Oh, Bert, I'm glad you're here.
Bert
I came over the moment I heard.
Mary Poppins
Well, how is he?
Bert
I've never seen him as bad as this, and that's the truth.
Mary Poppins
Oh!
Bert
How about them? It's contagious, you know.
Jane
Shall we get spots?
Mary Poppins
Oh, highly unlikely.
Oh, uncle Albert!
Uncle Albert
Oh, bless me. Bless my soul. It's Mary Poppins! I'm delight-- -I'm delighted to see you, Mary.
Mary Poppins
Uncle Albert, you promised!
Uncle Albert
Oh, I kn-- I know, I-- but I tried. Really, I did, my dear. I-- but I so enjoy laughing, you know? And,
well-- and when I start, it's all up with the-- that's what happens to me. I love to laugh! Oh, my
goodness! I can't help it. You can see that. I just like laughing, that's all.
Mary Poppins
Jane, don't you dare! You'll only make him worse. It's really quite serious!
Bert
Yes, whatever you do, keep a straight face. Last time, it took us three days to get him down.
Uncle Albert
I love to laugh
Loud and long and clear
I love to laugh
It's getting worse every year
The more I laugh
The more I fill with glee
Mary Poppins
You're no help at all.
Uncle Albert
The more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me
It's embarrassing.
The more I'm a merrier me
Mary Poppins
Some people laugh through their noses
Sounding something like this -- dreadful!
Some people laugh through their teeth, goodness sakes
Hissing and fizzing like snakes
Not at all attractive to my way of thinking.
Bert
Some laugh too fast
Some only blast
Others, they twitter like birds
Mary Poppins
You know, you're as bad as he is.
Bert
Then there's that kind what can't make up their mind
Uncle Albert
When things strike me as funny I can't hide it inside
And squeak as the squeakelers do
I've got to let go with a ho ho ho ho
And laugh too
How nice! I was hoping you'd turn up.
Bert
Turn up!
Uncle Albert
We always have such a jolly time.
Uncle Albert and Bert
We love to laugh
Loud and long and clear
We love to laugh
So everybody can hear
The more you laugh
Mary Poppins
Whoops, don't you two start. Come back down here.
Uncle Albert and Bert
The more you fill with glee
The more the glee
The more we're a merrier we
Uncle Albert
Oh, welcome, children! Welcome! Make yourselves comfortable.
Bert
That's right. Pull up a chair.
Uncle Albert
Oh, pull up--
Mary Poppins
I must say, you're a sight, the lot of you!
Bert
Speaking of sight, it reminds me of me brother. He's got a nice cushy job in a watch factory.
Uncle Albert
In a watch factory? What does he do?
Bert
He stands about all day and makes faces!
Uncle Albert
He makes faces in a watch fact-- you made that up.
Bert
I know.
Uncle Albert
That's so good!
Mary Poppins
Such behaviour! Well, it's the most disgraceful sight I've ever seen, or my name isn't Mary
Poppins.
Bert
Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert
What's the name of his other leg? Wasn't that funny? What's the name of his other--
Mary Poppins
Now, then, children, it's time for tea. I will not have my schedule interrupted.
Uncle Albert
Oh, please stay. Look, I have a splendid tea all ready for you.
Mary Poppins
And it's getting cold!
Uncle Albert
Well, I had hoped that maybe, that you would just, that-- splendid! Thank you very much! Keep
your feet back. Mind the bread and butter. Now, watch it, children.
Bert
I knew she could bring it off. And a proper tea it is, too.
Mary Poppins
Next thing, I suppose, you'll be wanting me to pour out. Oh, well. If I must, I must. If you'll just
stop behaving like a pack of laughing hyenas! Two lumps, uncle Albert?
Uncle Albert
Yes, please.
Mary Poppins
Uh, Bert?
Bert
Uh, no, no, thank you. No sugar for me.
Jane
I'm so glad you came. It wouldn't be any fun without you.
Mary Poppins
Here, and you may pour some milk for Michael and yourself.
Bert
Nice weather we're having this time of year, don't you think?
Uncle Albert
Oh, yeah. Uh, speaking of weather, the other day when it was so cold, a friend of mine went to
buy some long underwear, you know. The shopkeeper said to him, "How long do you want it?"
and my friend said, "Well, from about September to March."
Mary Poppins
Jane! Control yourself! Children, will you please sit up properly at the table? Your tea, uncle
Albert.
Uncle Albert
Oh, thank you, my dear. I'm having such a good time. I wish that you could all stay up here all
the time.
Michael
We'll jolly well have to. There's no way to get down.
Uncle Albert
Oh, no, there is a way. Frankly I, I don't like to mention it, because you have to think of
something sad.
Mary Poppins
Then do get on with it, please!
Uncle Albert
Let me see. I've got the very thing. Yesterday when the lady next door answered the bell, there
was a man there. And the man said to the lady, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat."
Jane
Oh, that's sad.
Michael
The poor cat.
Uncle Albert
And then the man said, "I'd like to replace your cat." and the lady said, "That's all right with me,
but how are you at catching mice?"
Well, you know I started out sad. I, I try, really I do. But, but everything ends up so hilarious, I
can't-- I can't help--
Mary Poppins
That will be quite enough of that! It's time to go home.
Jane
Oh, that is sad.
Michael
Oh, no!
Uncle Albert
Oh, that's sad. That's the saddest thing I ever heard.
Mary Poppins
Come along, children. Spit spot!
Uncle Albert
Must you really go? You know, people come to see me all the time, you know. And, and we have
such a lovely time, and then they have to go home. And, and I'm very, very sad about the whole
thing.
Michael
Don't worry. We'll come back soon.
Jane
We had a lovely time.
Mary Poppins
Uh, keep an eye on uncle Albert, will you, Bert?
Bert
I'll sit with him a while.
Mary Poppins
Thank you. Come on.
Bert
Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
Uncle Albert
I'd be so grateful.
Bert
Righto. Well, it's about me granddad, see? And one night, he had a nightmare, he did. So
scared that he chewed his pillow to bits. Yes. To bits.
Uncle Albert
Yes.
Bert
Next morning I says, "How do you feel, granddad?"
Uncle Albert
Yes.
Bert
He says, "Oh, not bad. A little down in the mouth!"
Yeah, I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert
No. And that was nothing like a good joke! That-
Admiral Boom
Bit late tonight, aren't you, Banks? I say, Banks! Is anything the matter, Banks? Banks!
Jane
Oh, Father, we're so glad you're home!
Michael
Want to hear a joke?
Jane
We had the most wonderful afternoon with Mary Poppins.
Michael
Speaking of afternoons, the joke goes like this. I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Mr. Banks
Smith? We don't know anyone called Smith.
Michael
And there was a second chap, and the second chap says, "What's the name of his other leg?"
Jane
And we had a lovely tea party on the ceiling!
Mr. Banks
Oh, children, please be quiet.
Jane
Mary Poppins says if we're good, she'll take us there again.
Mr. Banks
Oh. Oh, Mary Poppins said that, did she? Will you please return to your room. Mary Poppins,
will you be kind enough to come with me?
Mary Poppins
As you wish.
Mr. Banks
Mary Poppins, I very much regret what I must say to you.
Mrs. Banks
Good evening, George. Is anything the matter?
Mr. Banks
I'm afraid there is.
Mrs. Banks
I, I'd love to stay, but I have to dress for my rally in Hampstead.
Mr. Banks
Winifred, it is my wish that you be present!
Mrs. Banks
Oh, yes, George, of course.
Mr. Banks
Mary Poppins, I must confess I am extremely disappointed in you.
Ellen
She's for it now. I've heard the master do this speech before.
Mr. Banks
I don't deny that I am partially responsible for allowing the children to spend their days on
worthless frivolity to the exclusion of all else! But it is high time they learned the seriousness of
life!
Mrs. Banks
But, George, they're only children.
Mr. Banks
Precisely. And in the light of what has happened--
Mrs. Banks
George, are you certain you know what you're doing?
Mr. Banks
I believe I do, Winifred.
A British bank is run with precision
A British home requires nothing less
Tradition, discipline and rules
Must be the tools
Without them disorder, chaos, moral disintegration
In short you have a ghastly mess
Mary Poppins
I quite agree.
Mr. Banks
The children must be molded shaped and taught
That life's a looming battle to be faced and fought
In short, I am disturbed to hear my children talking about popping in and out of chalk pavement
pictures, consorting with racehorse persons, fox hunting. Yes, well I don't mind that quite so
much. At any rate, it's traditional. But tea parties on the ceiling? I ask you. Having tea parties on
the ceiling and highly-questionable outings of every other kind!
If they must go on outings
These outings ought to be
Fraught with purpose yes, and practicality
These silly words like
Superca-- super-- superca-
Mary Poppins
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Mr. Banks
Yes, well done. You said it.
And popping through pictures
Have little use, fulfill no basic need
They've got to learn the honest truth
Despite their youth
They must learn
Mary Poppins
About the life you lead
Mr. Banks
Exactly.
Mary Poppins
They must feel the thrill of totting up a balanced book
A thousand ciphers neatly in a row
Mr. Banks
Quite right.
Mary Poppins
When gazing at a graph that shows the profits up
Their little cup of joy should overflow
Mr. Banks
Precisely!
Mary Poppins
It's time they learned to walk in your footsteps
Mr. Banks
My footsteps.
Mary Poppins
To tread your straight and narrow path with pride
Mr. Banks
With pride.
Mary Poppins
Tomorrow just as you suggest
Pressed and dressed
Jane and Michael will be at your side
Mr. Banks
Splendid! You hit the nail right on the-- at my side? Where are we going?
Mary Poppins
To the bank, of course, exactly as you proposed.
Mr. Banks
I proposed?
Mary Poppins
Of course. Now, if you'll excuse me. Tomorrow's an important day for the children. I shall see
they have a proper night's sleep. Good night.
Mr. Banks
Winifred, did I say that I was going to take the children to the bank?
Mrs. Banks
It certainly sounded that way, dear.
Mr. Banks
Oh. And why not? A capital idea! Just the medicine they need for all this slipshod, sugary female
thinking they get around here all day long. Quite right. Good idea. Quite right. Good idea. Quite
right.
Jane
Mary Poppins, we won't let you go!
Mary Poppins
Go? What on earth are you talking about?
Michael
Didn't you get sacked?
Mary Poppins
Sacked? Certainly not! I am never sacked!
Jane
Oh, Mary Poppins!
Jane and Michael
Hurrah, hurray, hurray, hurray, hurray, hurray--
Mary Poppins
Neither am I a Maypole. Kindly stop spinning about me.
Michael
But?
Mary Poppins
Goats butt, birds fly, and children who are going on an outing with their father must get some
sleep. Come along, please.
Jane
An outing with father?
Mary Poppins
Yes.
Michael
I don't believe it.
Jane
He's never taken us on an outing before.
Michael
He's never taken us anywhere.
Jane
However did you manage it?
Mary Poppins
Manage what?
Jane
You must've put the idea in his head somehow.
Mary Poppins
What an impertinent thing to say! Me putting ideas into people's heads? Really!
Jane
Where's he taking us?
Mary Poppins
To the bank.
Jane
Oh, Michael, the city! And we'll see all the sights, and father can point them out to us.
Mary Poppins
Well, most things he can. But sometimes a person we love through no fault of his own, can't see
past the end of his nose.
Jane
Past the end of his nose?
Mary Poppins
Yes. Sometimes a little thing can be quite important.
Michael
Oh, look! The cathedral.
Jane
Father passes that every day. He sees that.
Mary Poppins
Early each day to the steps of St. Paul's
The little old bird woman comes
In her own special way to the people she calls
Come buy my bags full of crumbs
Come feed the little birds show them you care
And you'll be glad if you do
Their young ones are hungry
Their nests are so bare
All it takes is tuppence from you
Feed the birds tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence tuppence a bag
Feed the birds that's what she cries
While overhead her birds fill the skies
All around the cathedral
The saints and apostles
Look down as she sells her wares
Although you can't see it
You know they are smiling
Each time someone shows that he cares
Though her words are simple and few
Listen, listen she's calling to you
Feed the birds tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence tuppence a bag
Though her words are simple and few
Listen, listen she's calling to you
Feed the birds tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence tuppence a bag
Mr. Banks
Now remember that a bank is a quiet and decorous place, so we must be on our best behaviour.
Michael
But I thought it was your bank.
Mr. Banks
Yes, well, I'm one of the younger officers, so in a sense it is, sort of.
Jane
Michael, look! It's her!
Mr. Banks
Who? It's who?
Jane
The bird woman. Just where Mary Poppins said she would be. You do see her, don't you,
Father?
Mr. Banks
Well, of course I can see her. Do you think I can't see past the end of my nose?
Jane
Listen, Father, she's saying it.
Birdwoman
Feed the birds. Tuppence a bag.
Mr. Banks
Well, of course she's saying it. What else would she be saying?
Jane
Please may we feed the birds?
Mr. Banks
Whatever for?
Michael
I have tuppence from my money box.
Jane
Just this once, please?
Mr. Banks
Waste your money on a lot of ragamuffin birds? Certainly not.
Jane
But Mary Poppins-
Mr. Banks
I am not interested in what Mary Poppins says. Nor do I wish to keep hearing her name for the
remainder of the day. Now come along!
Michael
But it's my tuppence!
Mr. Banks
Michael, I will not permit you to throw your money away! When we get to the bank, I shall show
you what may be done with your tuppence. And I think you'll find it extremely interesting.
Mr. Dawes
Hello, Banks. What's all this about?
Mr. Banks
These are my children, Mr. Dawes.
Mr. Dawes
Well, so I assumed. But why are they here?
Mr. Banks
They wish to open an account, sir.
Mr. Dawes
Oh, indeed?
Mr. Banks
Yes.
Mr. Dawes
And just how much money do you have, young man?
Michael
Tuppence. But I want it to feed the birds.
Mr. Banks
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Tuppence? Tuppence? Precisely how I started.
Mr. Banks
That's the chairman of the bank, the elder Mr. Dawes. A giant in the world of finance.
Michael
A giant?
Mr. Banks
Shh, shh, shh.
Mr. Dawes
Uh, Father, these are Banks's children. They want to open an account.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Oh, they do, do they, boy? Excellent. Excellent. We can al-always use, al-always use more
money to, to put to work for the bank, can't we, boy?
So, you have tuppence? May I be permitted to see it?
Michael
No. I want it to feed the birds!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Fiddlesticks, boy! Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds!
But if you invest your tuppence
Wisely in the bank
Safe and sound
Soon that tuppence safely invested in the bank
Will compound
And you'll achieve that sense of conquest
As your affluence expands
In the hands of the directors
Who invest as propriety demands
Mr. Banks
May I, sir?
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Carry on, Banks.
Mr. Banks
You see, Michael, you'll be part of...
Railways through Africa
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Exactly!
Mr. Banks
Dams across the Nile
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
The ships. Tell them about the ships.
Mr. Banks
Fleets of ocean Greyhounds
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
More, tell them more!
Mr. Banks
Majestic self-amortizing canals
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Oh, it fires the imagination!
Mr. Banks
Plantations of ripening tea all from
Bank Directors
Tuppence prudently thriftily, frugally
Invested in the
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
To be specific
Bank Directors
In the Dawes, Tomes Mousley, Grubbs, Fidelity Fiduciary Bank
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Very well, my boy, give me the money.
Michael
No, I won't! I want it to feed the birds.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Banks!
Mr. Banks
Yes, sir. Now, Michael.
When you deposit tuppence in a bank account
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Go on!
Mr. Banks
Soon you'll see
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Tell him more!
Mr. Banks
That it blooms into credit of a generous amount semi-annually
Bank Directors
And you'll achieve that sense of stature
As your influence expands
To the high financial strata
That established credit now commands
Mr. Dawes, Sr. and Directors:
You can purchase first and second trust deeds. Think of the foreclosures! Bonds, chattels,
dividends, shares. Bankruptcies. Debtor sales. Opportunities. All manner of private enterprise.
Shipyards. The mercantile. Collieries. Tanneries. Corporations. Amalgamations.
Banks!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
While stand the banks of England, England stands. Oh, oh, oh, oh! When fall the banks of
England, England falls!
Mr. Banks
You see, Michael? All for the lack of...
Bank Directors
Tuppence patiently, cautiously trustingly invested in the
To be specific in the Dawes, Tomes, Mousley, Grubbs, Fidelity Fiduciary Bank
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Welcome to our joyful family of investors.
Michael
Give it back! Gimme back my money!
Mr. Banks
Michael, behave.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Banks!
Michael
Give it to me!
Mr. Banks
Michael, behave.
Michael
Jane! Jane! Gimme back my money!
Mr. Banks
Jane! Michael! Michael! Michael!
Michael
Gimme back my money!
Mr. Banks
Michael!
Client 1
There's something wrong. The bank won't give someone their money!
Client 2
Well, I'm going to get mine! Come along, young man! I want every penny!
Client 3
And mine, too!
Client 4
And give me mine, too!
Banker
Stop all payments. Stop all payments.
Mr. Banks
Michael! Jane!
Michael
Give me my money!
Mr. Banks
Children, come back here.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Stop those children.
Mr. Banks
Jane! Michael!
Micheal
Gimme my money back! I want my money! Come on.
Director
Stop those children! Stop those children!
Old Woman
Come with me, my dears. Granny'll hide you!
Bert
Here, here, half a mo.
Michael
Leave her alone! Leave my sister alone!
Bert
Easy, now. Your old friend ain't gonna hurt ya.
Jane
Bert, it's you!
Bert
In the flesh, and at your service.
Michael
You're filthy!
Bert
Oh, perhaps a smudge or two. It so happens that today I'm a chimney sweep.
Jane
Oh, Bert, we're so frightened.
Bert
Now, now, don't take on so. Bert'll take care of you like I was your own father. Now, who's after
you?
Jane
Father is.
Bert
What?
Michael
He brought us to see his bank.
Bert
I don't know what we did, but it must've been something dreadful.
Michael
He sent the police after us, and the army and everything.
Jane
Michael, don't exaggerate.
Bert
Well, now, there must be some mistake. Your dad's a fine gentleman and he loves ya!
Jane
I don't think so. You should've seen the look on his face.
Michael
He doesn't like us at all.
Bert
Well, now that don't seem likely, does it?
Jane
It's true.
Bert
Let's sit down. You know, begging your pardon, but the one my heart goes out to is your father.
There he is in that cold, heartless bank day after day, hemmed in by mounds of cold, heartless
money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.
Jane
Father in a cage?
Bert
They makes cages in all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped some of 'em, carpets and
all.
Jane
Father's not in trouble. We are.
Bert
Oh, sure about that, are you? Look at it this way. You've got your mother to look after you. And
Mary Poppins, and Constable Jones and me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When
something terrible happens, what does he do? Fends for himself, he does. Who does he tell
about it? No one! Don't blab his troubles at home. He just pushes on at his job, uncomplaining
and alone and silent.
Michael
He's not very silent!
Jane
Michael, be quiet. Bert, do you think Father really needs our help?
Bert
Well, not my place to say. I only observe that a father can always do with a bit of help. Come on,
I'll take you home.
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheree
A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
Good luck will rub off when I shakes hands with you
Or blow me a kiss and that's lucky too
Now as the ladder of life has been strung
You might think a sweep's on the bottommost rung
Though I spends me time in the ashes and smoke
In this whole wide world there's no happier bloke
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheree
A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
Good luck will rub off when I shakes hands with you
Bert and Children
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheree
A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
Good luck will rub off when I shakes hands with you
Mrs. Banks
Oh, Ellen, see who that is, and send them away. I'm dreadfully late!
Ellen
Yes, ma'am.
Bert
Well, I'll be gettin' along now.
Jane
Oh, please stay 'til father comes home. He'll feel much better if you shake hands with him.
Ellen
It's the children, ma'am.
Mrs. Banks
Oh, I thought they were with their father. You haven't been running off again, have you? You
know how terribly it upsets me.
Bert
Oh, they haven't exactly been running away, ma'am. They have had bit of a fright, though. Need
someone to look after 'em.
Mrs. Banks
Oh, of course! Mary Poppins will. Oh, no, it's her day off! Ellen, I wonder if you would--
Ellen
No, ma'am. I haven't done me brasses yet.
Mrs. Banks
Well, will you ask Mrs. Brill?
Ellen
Not for a hundred quid, ma'am. This here is baking day, and you know how cook is!
Mrs. Banks
What about you, sir? You've been so kind in looking after the children.
Bert
Wh-- uh, me, ma'am? W-well, well, I-I-I have to be moving along. The Lord Mayor's got a
stopped-up chimney.
Mrs. Banks
Chimney. How clever of you to know. Our drawing room chimney's in the most ghastly condition.
Smokes incessantly.
Bert
W-w--
Mrs. Banks
Thank you so much!
Bert
But--
Mrs. Banks
Besides, it'll amuse the children.
Bert
The Lord Mayor's gonna be terrible put out.
Mrs. Banks
Oh, thank you so much. I do appreciate it. I must hurry. Our gallant ladies in prison are waiting
for me to lead them in song! Good-bye, my darlings. See you soon.
Bert
I choose me bristles with pride, yes, I do
A broom for the shaft
And a brush for the flue
Jane
Oh, it's awfully dark and gloomy up there.
Bert
There now. You see how wrong people can be? That there is what you might call a doorway to
a place of enchantment.
Up where the smoke is all billowed and curled
'Tween pavement and stars
Is the chimney sweep world
When there's hardly no day
Nor hardly no night
There's things half in shadow
And halfway in light
On the rooftops of London
Coo, what a sight.
Jane
I do wish we could go up there.
Michael
So do I! I like chimneys.
Bert
Oh, rightly so! A chimney is a wondrous thing. She's built tall right up there on the roof. When
the wind is just right, it blows across her top, then draws the smoke right up the flue. Here. Feel
the pull on the end of that brush. It's like I got a whale on the end of the line, ain't it? Michael,
Mary Poppins
Be careful. You never know what may happen around a fireplace. Oh, bother!
Jane
Michael! Michael, come back down here. Michael! Michael, where are you?
Bert
Well, that's a bit awkward. I must say!
Mary Poppins
Bert, I'll thank you to stop putting ideas in their heads! There goes the other one.
Bert
Shall I go after 'em?
Mary Poppins
Well, we can't have them gallivanting up there like kangaroos, can we?
Jane
Michael, don't be frightened. Everything's going--
Mary Poppins
Will you put your things on at once? Hurry up, please. Spit spot!
Bert
Here you are! I thought you'd left us.
Jane
We didn't mean to.
Bert
Well, no harm done. The truth is, this is what you might call a fortuitous circumstance. Look
there. A trackless jungle just waiting to be explored. Why not, Mary Poppins?
Jane
Oh, please, Mary Poppins?
Michael
Please!
Mary Poppins
Oh, well. If we must, we must. Fall in. Look lively, look lively. Jump to it! Jump to it! Get in line.
Attention! A-show arms! A-right turn! Quick march!
Michael
Hello there!
Bert
It's just good, clean soot, Michael.
Bert
As far as we go, right?
Mary Poppins
Not at all.
Bert
What did I tell ya? There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it, but the birds, the
stars and the chimney sweeps?
Mary Poppins
Quite nice, but we should all get in out of the night air. Follow me, please.
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim
Chim cheree when you're with a sweep you're in glad company
Bert
Nowhere is there a more happier crew
Bert and Mary Poppins
Than them what sings chim chim cheree, chim cheroo
Chim chiminy chim chim cheree chim cheroo
Chimney Sweeps
Cheroo! Cheroo! Cheroo! Cheroo! Cheroo! Cheroo!
Bert
It's all me pals!
Step in time!
Step in time!
Bert and Chimney Sweeps
Step in time!
Step in time!
Step in time!
Step in time!
Step in time, step in time
Come on, mateys, step in time
Step in time
Step in time,
Step in time
Step in time,
Step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme
We step in time, we step in time
Kick your knees up!
Kick your knees up step in time
Kick your knees up, step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme
Kick your knees up step in time
Round the chimney!
Round the chimney step in time
Round the chimney, step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme
Round the chimney we step in time
Clap like a birdie.
Clap like a birdie step in time
Clap like a birdie, step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme
Clap like a birdie in time
Up on the railing.
Up on the railing step in time
Up on the railing, step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme up
On the railing step in time
Over the rooftops!
Over the rooftops step in time
Over the rooftops, step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme
Step in time
Over the rooftops
Over the rooftops
Link your elbows!
Link your elbows, step in time
Link your elbows, step in time
Link your elbows,
Link your elbows,
Link your elbows
Step in time,
Step in time
Step in time,
Step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme
When you step in time you step in time
Mary Poppins, step in time! There you go, Mary Poppins! Lucky old Bert! Come on, Mary
Poppins! Here we go, mate! Here we go! Make room for her! Go! Ain't she marvelous? Ain't she
beautiful? Lovely. Tell your mum! Hello, hello, hello! More! More! Mary, do it again! Come on,
Mary, do it again. Here we go.
Admiral Boom
We're being attacked by Hottentots!
Mr. Binnacle
Aye, aye, sir.
Admiral Boom
Cheeky devils! Give 'em what for! Empty the shot lockers!
Mr. Binnacle
Aye, aye, sir!
Admiral Boom
Move along, Mr. Binnacle. Handsomely now. Teach the beggars a lesson.
Mr. Binnacle
Gun ready, sir.
Admiral Boom
Stand by. Fire!
Fire! Well hit, sir! Very well hit!
Mrs. Brill
Aah! They're at it again!
Chimney Sweeps
They're at it again!
Step it time,
At it again
Step in time
They're at it again
Step it time ow!
Ow,
Step in time
Ow,
Step in time
Never need a reason never need a rhyme
Whoa!
Step in time
Mrs. Banks
Oh, Ellen, when you have a second.
Chimney Sweeps
Votes for women, step in time
Votes for women, step in time
Mrs. Banks
Oh, no, really, not at the moment.
Chimney Sweeps
Votes for women
Votes for women!
Ellen
It's the master!
Chimney Sweeps
It's the master,
Step in time
It's the master, step in time
Mr. Banks
What's all this?
Chimney Sweeps
What's all this
What's all this?
What's all this
What's all this
What's all this
What's all this
Link your elbows, step in time
What's all this?
Kick your knees up what's all this?
Step in time
Kick your knees up
Kick your knees up Bert.
Kick your knees up
Kick your knees up in time
Good luck, guv'nor. Lovely time! Had an elegant time, guv'nor.
Michael
Good luck, guv'nor.
Jane
Oh, father, every one of those sweeps shook your hand. You're going to be the luckiest person
in the world!
Mary Poppins
Come along, children. Spit spot.
Mr. Banks
Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?
Mary Poppins
I beg your pardon?
Mr. Banks
Will you be good enough to explain all this?
Mary Poppins
First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.
Mr. Banks
Yes?
Mary Poppins
I never explain anything.
Mr. Banks
Yes. Banks here. Mr. Dawes! I'm most dreadfully sorry, sir, about what happened at the bank
today. I can assure you that-- tonight, sir?
Mr. Dawes
Yes, Banks. We'll expect you at 9:00 precisely.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Without fail.
Mr. Dawes
Without fail.
Why, yes, Banks. It's extremely serious.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
We regret this course of action.
Mr. Dawes
We regret this course of action.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
After all, you have been with us a good many years.
Mr. Dawes
After all, you have been with us a good many years.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
As was your father before you.
Mr. Dawes
As was your father before you.
Mr. Banks
Yes, Mr. Dawes. I shall be there at 9:00.
A man has dreams of walking with giants.
To carve his niche in the edifice of time.
Before the mortar of his zeal
Has a chance to congeal
The cup is dashed from his lips!
The flame is snuffed a-borning.
He's brought to wrack and ruin in his prime.
Bert
Life is a rum go, guv'nor, and that's the truth.
Mr. Banks
You know what I think? It's that woman Mary Poppins. From the moment she stepped into this
house, things began to happen to me!
Bert
Mary Poppins?
Mr. Banks
Yes, yes, of course.
My world was calm, well-ordered, exemplary.
Then came this person with chaos in her wake
And now my life's ambitions go
With one fell blow
It's quite a bitter pill to take.
It's that Poppins woman! She did it!
Bert
I know the very person you mean. Mary Poppins. She's the one what sings...
A spoonful of sugar that is all it takes
It changes bread and water into tea and cakes
Mr. Banks
You see? That's exactly what I mean! Changing bread and water into tea and cakes!
Bert
Indeed!
Mr. Banks
No wonder everything's higgledy-piggledy here.
Bert
A spoonful of sugar goes a long, long way
Have yourself a healthy helpin' everyday
An healthy helpin' of trouble, if you ask me.
Mr. Banks
Do you know what she did? I realize it now. She tricked me into taking Jane and Michael to the
bank. That's how all the trouble started.
Bert
Tricked you into taking the children on an outing?
Mr. Banks
Yes.
Bert
Outrageous! A man with all the important things you have to do. Shameful! You're a man of high
position. Esteemed by your peers.
And when your little tykes are cryin' you haven't time to dry their tears
and see them grateful little faces smilin' up at you
because their dad he always knows just what to do
Mr. Banks
Well I mean, look, I, I don't think I ca-- -
Bert
Like you say, guv'nor.
You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone
Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve
And all too soon they've up and grown
And then they've flown
And it's too late for you to give
Just that spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down
The medicine go down
Medicine go down
Well, good-bye, guv'nor. Sorry to have troubled you.
Jane
Father? We're sorry about the tuppence. We didn't know it would cause you so much trouble.
Michael
Here, father, you can have the tuppence.
Jane
Will that make everything all right?
Mr. Banks
Thank you.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Come in!
Take your hat off, Banks.
Mr. Banks
Good evening, gentlemen.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Well, get on with it. Go on.
Mr. Dawes
Uh, yes, Father. In 1773, an official of this bank, unwisely loaned a large sum of money, to
finance a shipment of tea to the American colonies. Do you know what happened?
Mr. Banks
Yes, sir. Yes, I think I do. Uh, uh, as the ship lay in Boston harbor, uh, a party of the colonists
dressed as Red Indians, uh, boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and, and threw all the
tea overboard. This made the tea unsuitable for drinking, even for Americans.
Mr. Dawes
Precisely. The loan was defaulted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the
bank!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
From that time to this, sir, there has not been a run on this bank until today! A run, sir, caused
by the disgraceful conduct of your son. Do you deny it?
Mr. Banks
I do not deny it, sir. And I shall be only too glad to assume responsibility for my son.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
What are you waiting for? Get on with it!
Mr. Dawes
Uh, y-yes, Father.
Director 1
No, not that!
Director 2
Steady on.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Well, do you have anything to say, Banks?
Mr. Banks
Well, sir, they do say that when there's nothing to say, all you can say I-
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Confound it, Banks! I said, do you have anything to say?
Mr. Banks
Just one word, sir.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Yes?
Mr. Banks
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
What?
Mr. Banks
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Mary Poppins was right. It's extraordinary. It does make you
feel better!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
What are you talking about, man? There's no such word.
Mr. Banks
Oh, yes. It is a word. A perfectly good word, actually. Do you know what there's no such thing
as? It turns out, with due respect, when all is said and done, that there's no such thing as you!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Impertinence, sir!
Mr. Banks
Speaking of impertinence, would you like to hear a perfectly marvelous joke? A real snapper!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Joke? Snapper?
Mr. Banks
Yes. There are these two wonderful young people, Jane and Michael. And they meet one day
on the street, and Jane says to Michael, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith." and
Michael says, "Really? What's the name of his other leg?"
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
The man's gone mad. Call the guard!
Mr. Banks
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I'm feeling better all the time!
Mr. Dawes
Banks, don't you dare strike my father!
Mr. Banks
There's the tuppence. The wonderful, fateful, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious tuppence.
Guard it well. Good-bye!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Banks, where are you going?
Mr. Banks
I don't know. I might pop through a chalk pavement picture, and go for an outing in the country.
Or I might seize a horse off a merry-go-round, and win the derby! Or I might just fly a kite! Only
Poppins would know!
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
Poppins?
Mr. Banks
My Nanny. She's the one who sings that ridiculous song.
A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down
The medicine go down
The medicine go down
The medicine--
Mr. Dawes
Mad as a march hare.
Mr. Dawes, Sr.
A wooden leg named Smith. A wooden leg named Smith. A wooden le--
Mr. Dawes
Father? Father! Father, come down! Daddy! Daddy, come back!
Admiral Boom
Wind's come around, blowing dead on from the west!
Michael
She doesn't care what happens to us.
Jane
She only promised to stay 'til the wind changed. Isn't that right, Mary Poppins?
Mary Poppins
Will you bring me my hat stand, please?
Jane
Mary Poppins, don't you love us?
Mary Poppins
And what would happen to me, may I ask, if I loved all the children I said good-bye to?
Constable
Yes, sir, that's right. George W. Banks. 17 Cherry Tree Lane. About six foot one, I'd say, sir. Oh,
yes, we rang up his bank first thing this morning. The only thing we discovered was, he'd been
discharged last night. No telling what he might do in a fit of despondency.
Ellen
Wouldn't hurt to have them drag the river. There's a nice spot there by Suffolk bridge. Popular
with jumpers.
Mrs. Banks
Really, Ellen!
Constable
He seemed to have been a fine, stable gentleman, sir. No hanky-panky, if you know what I
mean. Oh, regular habits, sir. Well, far as anyone knows.
Mr. Banks
The medicine go down
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar
Mrs. Brill
It's him!
Mr. Banks
Helps the medicine go down
Ellen
Or something that sounds like him.
Constable
Mrs. Banks, could we have a little less noise on the premises? I can't make out what the
inspector's sayin'.
Mr. Banks
In the most delightful way
Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down
Mrs. Banks
George! Oh, George, you didn't jump in the river. How sensible of you.
Constable
It's all right, sir. He's been found! No, alive! Or so I presume. He's a-kissin' a-Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks
I've been so worried. What happened at the bank?
Mr. Banks
I've been sacked, discharged, flung into the street.
A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down
Ellen
Gone off his crumpet. That's what he's done.
Mr. Banks
The medicine go down
Ellen
Dotty as you please.
Mrs. Banks
George, what on earth were you doing in the cellar?
Mr. Banks
You'll see in a moment. Where are the children? Jane? Michael?
Mrs. Banks
Your father's calling you.
Michael
It doesn't sound like Father.
Mr. Banks
Jane? Michael?
Mary Poppins
Run along. Spit spot!
Michael
You won't go, Mary Poppins, will you?
Mary Poppins
Spit spot.
Michael
He mended it!
Jane
It's wonderful! However did you manage it?
Mr. Banks
With tuppence for paper and strings
You can have your own set of wings
With your feet on the ground
You're a bird in flight
With your fist holding tight
To the string of your kite
Oh, oh, oh
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite
Mrs. Banks
A proper kite needs a proper tail, don't you think?
Constable
That's what I said, sir. Go fly a kite! Oh, no, sir. No, I, I don't mean you personally.
Banks Family
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite
Bert
When you send it flying up there
All at once you're lighter than air
You can dance on the breeze
Over houses and trees
With your fist holding tight
To the string of your kite
Kite Flyers
Oh, oh, oh
Michael
Now!
Kite Flyers
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Mr. Dawes
Oh, there you are, Banks. I want to congratulate you. Capital bit of humor. Wooden leg named
Smith. Or Jones or whatever it was. Father died laughing.
Mr. Banks
Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.
Mr. Dawes
Oh, no, nonsense. Nothing to be sorry about. Never seen him happier in his life. He left an
opening for a new partner. Congratulations.
Mr. Banks
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much indeed, sir.
Kite Flyers
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite
Umbrella
That's gratitude for you. Didn't even say good-bye.
Mary Poppins
No, they didn't.
Umbrella
Look at them. You know, they think more of their father than they do of you.
Mary Poppins
That's as it should be.
Umbrella
Well, don't you care?
Mary Poppins
Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.
Umbrella
Is that so? Well, I'll tell you one thing, Mary Poppins, you don't fool me a bit.
Mary Poppins
Oh, really?
Umbrella
Yes, really. I know exactly how you feel about these children. And if you think I'm gonna keep
my mouth shut any longer, I--
Mary Poppins
That will be quite enough of that, thank you.
Bert
Good-bye, Mary Poppins. Don't stay away too long.
THE END
Source: http://www.scifiscripts.com/cartoon/
(reformatted by Julie)